VISION NEW ENGLAND

I used to attend a church that had a fancy pipe organ, but no one could play it. On special occasions, we hired a local gentleman to do the honors. He was not a member of the church, and his talent did not come free, but he knew what he was doing, which is more than could be said for the rest of us. We had to book him well in advance because we were sharing him with several other congregations who had pipe organs that no one could play. I am not sure he was a Christian.

In asking around I discovered one of the reasons the pipe organ seems headed in the direction of Darwin’s Dodo is that apparently too few organists have taken it upon themselves to train others in the craft.

Discipleship, in the basic sense of the word, means teaching what you know to someone else. The word disciple(mathetes) literally means one who has been taught. Whether we are talking about understanding the gospel or imparting a useful ministry skill, it stands to reason that if we are not intentional about sharing what we know, eventually no one will know what we know, and I believe this is a major challenge in the church today. 

How do you understand your responsibility in ministry? Effective churches, without exception, give priority to helping people identify and use their God-given gifts. We are told it is our responsibility to use the gifts or talents God has given us for the glory of God and the good of others. I agree. But is this the full extent of our responsibility in ministry?

If you believe effective ministry means doing what you do to the best of your ability, you are only partially right. The other part of your job is to multiply yourself. Any ministry which depends on the gifts and talents of one person is precarious.We all know that sometimes in the church we have no choice. Sometimes it is a question of limited resources, human or otherwise. But this dependency should always be regarded as a temporary and undesirable state. A disciple making church must have a clear and well articulated plan for duplication and succession in every area of ministry. What are the obstacles to ministry duplication in the local church?

• Tradition – we’ve always done it this way. I would venture to say that this is probably the norm. The fact is most churches are not adept at duplication. A church which emphasizes and insists upon ministry duplication will be the exception and not the rule. So break the rule! Every church needs to examine its assumptions and beliefs in the light of scripture and have the courage to make changes wherever necessary in order to become an exceptional church.
• Pride and insecurity.There is a dark side to leadership which sometimes equates the possession of expertise with job security; as long as I am the best and the only one doing this, my place on the team is assured and my identity is secure. Whenever we see this tendency in ourselves and others we should address it with grace, but such an attitude can never be left unchallenged as it is utterly contrary to the spirit of Christ. The leader who is committed to duplication is never concerned for his own relevance, or that someone will eclipse him in the church. On the contrary, such a leader delights in the success of his or her protégés and longs to see the student excel the teacher. The animating passion of the duplicating leader is concern is for Christ’s kingdom; he wants to see it advance by any and all means. Petty insecurity cannot abide in his heart; the more he gives the more he receives, his worth increases because his leadership is truly extraordinary.
• Money – we can hire somebody to do that.On the surface, having the resources to solve problems with money appears to be a strength of the larger church. Often it is. But if we are hiring because we have not developed a “duplicating” culture within the church, meeting our ministry needs with money may actually be a sign of weakness. A strong church produces strong people. As a rule, it is generally easier to hire talent than to develop it but whatever your church size, disciple making and duplication should be a clearly expressed requirement at every level of leadership. Every church needs to be developing its “bench” strength; this means every leader needs to be developing a protégé. If you are hiring new staff, make sure they understand this expectation from day one, and keep them accountable to it.
• Sloth and lack of discipline. Have you ever heard someone say “It is easier to do it myself than to explain it to someone else”? They were right! It is true. Training others takes lots of time and patience. It is labor intensive, especially at the front end of the process. Sometimes it does not work out and we have to start all over again with someone new. Lots of work. But it is not half as much work as the church is stuck with when its leaders fail to train, disciple, and duplicate. The disciple making leader must constantly remind himself that duplication is a non-negotiable and indispensible part of the work of ministry and he or she must be willing to “take the pains” necessary for duplication for the sake of the kingdom. It is not the normal way but it is the only way.

Whatever you are doing for Christ today,be sure you are investing in the continuation and expansion of the ministry tomorrow. If we are not intentional about sharing what we know, eventually no one will know what we know. Failing to attend to duplication is to plan for obsolescence, and the cause of Christ’s kingdom is too important for that.

(blog post by Steve Poole, Director of Spiritual Formation, Vision New England)

The Secret of Going the Distance

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.   Philippians 3:12-14 (NIV)

Why are you here, and what makes you stay?  Back in the old “church growth movement” days (it seems like a thousand years ago now), there was a lot of discussion about discovering the “glue” that holds people to a church i.e., the reasons why people join and remain faithful to a community of faith.  Even today, if you “Google” the phrase“The glue that holds people to church”, you will be served over thirty-five million separate search results in under 0.28 seconds.  Apparently this is still a question which pastors and ministry leaders are asking today.

I would like to turn this question around and aim it back at the Christian leaders who may be reading this.  Why are you here in the community of faith, and what makes you stay?  What is the glue that holds you true to your faith and calling?

At the time the beloved Apostle Paul penned these words to the Philippians (above), he had been in the race a very long time and yet remarkably he showed no sign of wearing or wearing down, quite the contrary.  In fact, even though he was by then an old man he seems rather to be renewed.  One commentator captures the essence of this remarkable resilience:

You might be interested to know that when Paul wrote this he had been a Christian for about 30 years.  And when he says I have not already obtained and I am not already perfect, he is speaking as a man who for three decades had been pursuing the knowledge of Christ and he still wasn't there.  Three decades of the most intense, loyal, dedicated, faithful pursuit of knowing Christ and he still was not spiritually satisfied, but spiritually dissatisfied. He was not perfect. He had not attained the full knowledge of Christ; the pursuit was still on. ¹

Thirty years in the service of Christ, and the man was still in hot pursuit.  These words inspire and convict me for a couple of reasons, the first being this just happens to be exactly how long I have been serving the Lord in ministry, and the second being that in all honesty I have wearied and lost my steam manytimes along the way.  As I ponder the “secret” of Paul’s passion, I am reminded again of what I already know – nothing but love for Jesus can sustain a life of vibrant faith and devotion over the long haul.

How did you get here?  I have asked this question many times in my work with pastors.  We “ministry” people can easily get lost in the work, and in the process lose sight of the reason why we are doing it.  It happens all the time.  When it does, it helps to retrace our steps.  Why are we here, and how did we end up being where we are and doing what we do?  These incredibly important questions hold the key to joyful longevity in the life of faith and for most of us (I hope) the answer is essentially the same; we are here because like Paul, our lives and our plans were interrupted by a personal encounter with Jesus!  It is difficult to describe the effect of that encounter; it transcends description, words fail. Each of us may describe it differently but for every one of us, nothing would ever be the same again.

I find myself deeply stirred whenever I read Augustine’s incredibly poetic description of the life altering impact of God’s grace upon his life.  He so beautifully describes the strange mixture of anguish and exhilaration a sinner feels upon discovering heaven’s great Treasure, which of course is God Himself:

Too late did I love You, O Thou Beauty ever ancient and yet so new! Too late did I love You! 

Behold, You were within, and I searched abroad for You; I was deformed, plunging madly among the beautiful things which you have made. You were with me, but I was not with You.

You  called, and shouted, and finally burst through my deafness. You flashed, You shined, and scattered my blindness. You exhaled vapors, and I inhaled - and now I pant for You! I tasted, and now I hunger and thirst!

You touched me, and now I burn for Your peace! ²

Augustine powerfully captures the exhilaration of redemption, the passion³ of repentance, and the ravishing affection of a soul which has been captured by Perfect Love.

And this is essentially what we hear Paul saying in his own “confession” to the Philippians. The great lion of God ⁴ had experienced the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. He had already endured more pain than most of us ever face in a lifetime and yet his zeal was undimmed; he was out to apprehend the One who had apprehended him so long ago on the road to Damascus and he would not rest, indeed he could not rest until his ransomed heart had achieved its desire.

Paul had dealt with difficult churches, as many of us have. He also endured severe persecution, cruel hostility, withering exhaustion and heart breaking abandonment.  Yet we find no trace of bitterness or self pity in Paul, and he never appears to have breathed a single word about giving up.

What can sustain a person through so much suffering and still leave him with so much hope and energy for finishing the fight?  In spite of what we modern-day “people of action” may be tempted to think, Paul’s primary motivation was not the mission but the Master.  Everything he did came out of a deep, abiding, and very personal love for God.

There is nothing so powerful as Christ incarnate in the life of a leader who knows and loves and cherishes Him above all else.  Nothing else can produce such fruit, and nothing else can ever rival it.  As we head to the finish, God give us the grace to keep our eyes on the One who is the Prize; “All of us who are mature should take such a view of things” (Philippians 3:15, NIV).

1. John MacArthur, Evaluating Your Relationship to Christ

2.  Augustine, Confessions, Book X

3. Passion in the original sense of the Latin word, which means to suffer

4. The Great Lion of God is the title of the book by Taylor Caldwell on the life of Paul

I want to conclude our musings on formation and community with a brief look at the criteria we can use to examine ourselves and others as we consider entering into a formation friendship or as it is more commonly called, spiritual friendship.

What’s your Motive?

Writing in the twelfth century, a godly Christian named Aelred of Rievaulx suggested there are four attributes we should look for in a spiritual friend. The first essential attribute addresses the question of motivation or as Aelred calls it “right intention”. A spiritual friend, he says, should “expect nothing from your friendship except God and its natural good.”

Motives are the first thing we should examine when considering embarking upon a spiritual friendship. Why do we want to enter into this relationship? What are we looking for? What do we expect? In spiritual friendship we are not just seeking a “buddy” or someone to hang-out with. Spiritual friendship is a far more special and costly relationship, having God as its foundation and epicenter. I would dare say most of our relationships, even relationships with other Christians, are not this intentional or serious. Having God as the raison d'être* for our friendship dramatically alters the essence and tone of the relationship. Motives are everything.

Are you discreet?

This leads naturally to the second essential quality noted by Aelred which he calls “discretion”. Aelred uses this word to describe the spiritual quality of knowing what to do (wisdom and discernment) and faithfully doing it (faithfulness). He says a spiritual friend must possess the quality of discretion so that “…he may understand what is to be done in behalf of a friend, what is to be sought from a friend, what sufferings are to be endured for his sake, upon what good deeds he is to be congratulated; and, since we think that a friend should sometimes be corrected, he must know for what faults this should be done, as well as the manner, time, and the place.”

Will you hang in there?

In a costly relationship where we are both free and faithful to challenge one another, real maturity is absolutely necessary. One of the preeminent attributes of spiritual maturity is patience, in the full biblical sense of the word meaning long-suffering. Aelred says a friend must have patience “that he may not grieve when rebuked, or despise or hate the one inflicting the rebuke, and that he may not be unwilling to bear every adversity for the sake of his friend.” Maturity and patience are essential to spiritual friendship.

Can I count on you?

The last quality Aelred mentions is loyalty. He says, “There is nothing more praiseworthy in friendship than loyalty.” This is certainly true. Loyalty is a stubborn and enduring grace, a true reflection of the heart and character of God. Aelred writes, “Loyalty is hidden in prosperity, but conspicuous in adversity. A friend is tested in necessity… as Solomon says, ‘He that is a friend loves at all times, and a brother is proven in distress’.”

Spiritual friendship, like a marriage, is a covenantal relationship. Covenantal relationships do not survive on happiness alone and they are not easily destroyed by difficulty. In these relationships we are pledged to a higher purpose under God and our fidelity to him is the only foundation of any enduring success we may enjoy.

Aelred of Rievaulx believed we should “test” or evaluate a potential spiritual friend. I agree, and the criteria we use to evaluate others should first be used on ourselves. As I said in my last post, the critical thing in spiritual friendship is not so much finding the right person as being the right person. People who are willing to look carefully, prayerfully and honestly into their own hearts are best suited and prepared to enter into the extraordinary grace of spiritual friendship. May God give us all grace to discover the joy of true spiritual friendship.

Footnotes

In this blog I have quoted from “Aelred of Rievaulx, Spiritual Friendship” (Trans. By Mary Eugenia Laker, Kalamazoo, MI: Cistercian, 1977), 105-106.

* Raison d'êtreis a commonly used French phrase meaning "reason for existence."

Recommended Reading

Sacred Companions:The Gift of Spiritual Friendship & Direction,by David G. Benner

Paperback:240 pages

Publisher:IVP Books (July 23, 2004)

ISBN-10:083083270X

ISBN-13:978-0830832705

In these posts, I have been advancing the idea that Spiritual Formation is best experienced in relationship, and so it is. But the awkward truth is a good friend can be hard to find, even in the church, some might even say especially in the church [1].  But however hard it may be we are bound to try. The very God we worship exists eternally in relationship; formation into His image therefore essentially requires friendship.

Friendship – what is it? It is hard to imagine a more common word. We have “friends” at work, “friends” at school, “friends” in the neighborhood and community and of course, “friends” in the church. People “friend” one another through social media and today it is not uncommon to have dozens or even hundreds of people listed as our “friends”. Friendship, it would seem, is everywhere. It almost looks like we have friends to spare.

I wonder, do we really?

Honestly, I think not.

In the first place, who has the time? It takes a lot of time to really get to know another person, as anyone in a healthy long-term relationship knows. I have always been intrigued by the tradition which assigns certain materials to symbolically represent the years of marriage. For example, the first five years of marriage are represented by paper, cotton, leather, linen, wood. As the years pass, the symbols become more costly. For years fifty through seventy the symbols are significantly more valuable: gold, emerald, diamond, blue sapphire, and platinum. Thus we are reminded that love has ever increasing value – especially when we invest it long in one place.

And so it is with friendship. In our day we have diminished the meaning of the word through reckless overuse; to say we have many friends is often a way of saying we really have none. The church desperately needs to recover a vision of friendship as something costly, rare, and extremely valuable.

How do we begin to experience friendship at a deeper level? It helps to know what we are looking for. In this post and the next I will offer some reflection on the criteria for seeking a spiritual friend [2], but first I think it is best to start with a definition. Even the words “spiritual friend” are packed with meaning; talk of spiritual friendship is common in “Formation” circles and the concept carries various shades of meaning. I am using the words to signify a relationship that is Christ centered, covenantal, and life giving:

Christ Centered

We are talking about a relationship (or relationships) which has at its core an explicit and well articulated commitment to Christ and to spiritual growth into his likeness. In this relationship we ask about God, we talk about God, we talk to God, and we help each other listen to God. This does not mean we never discuss the other mundane details of life. But a formation friendship is different in that it has its basis in an ongoing relationship with God and one another.

Covenantal

Formation friendships are based upon solemn promises to God and to each other. These promises may be articulated verbally and/or written down (recommended). Formation relationships are never merely casual, or “as able”, they are always purposeful and intentional.

Life Giving

We come into a friendship like this for the sole purpose of edification, building one another up. A formation friendship is never invasive or controlling. We may “bruise” one another in loving honesty from time to time (Proverbs 27:6) but this does not characterize the essence of the relationship. A formation friendship is a relationship in which you are always accepted, always loved, and never judged. Get it? Always, always, and never. Any friendship which fails to meet these criteria is not edifying and cannot even be properly called friendship, in the spiritual sense of the word.

And friendship is life-givingin more than one way. One study found that those who had the most friends over a 9-year period cut their risk of death by more than60%. A celebrated Health Study from Harvard Medical School concluded that not having close friends was as detrimental to your health assmoking or carrying extra weight [3].

Do you have a friendships like this? Every statistic of which I am aware suggests that very few of us do, and sadly participation in the life of the church does not guarantee an exception to this rule.

How do we find a friend like this? The critical thing is not finding the right person but being the right person. Think well on your own heart and character. Are you ready for a relationship like this? Are you willing to commit and to pay the price? The first step is to earnestly prepare our hearts; then we can pray and confidently expect God to show us the way.

There are Biblical criteria to help us discern the vital issues in being a friend and finding one. In the next post(s) I will deal with desire, ability, compatibility, and fidelity. I hope you will follow with me and I look forward to your comments and insights.

(this blog was written by Steve Poole, Vision New England's Director of Spiritual Formation)

[1]Part of the reason for this can be found in our perceived need for anonymity and protection (I invite you to read Keith Tolley’s excellent post on “The Myth of Accountability” for some great insight on this. {LINK HERE}).

[2] Spiritual Friendship is a term which is widely used in “Formation” circles and it carries various shades of meaning. I am using the words to signify a relationship that is Christ centered, Covenantal, and Life giving.

[3] Source: anapsid.org

Experiencing Formation In Community

In our last post we quoted the words of a lyrical Irish toast: “To live above with the Saints we love, Ah, that is the purest glory. To live below with the Saints we know, Ah, that is another story!”

One of our readers pointed out this little ditty has a certain ring of truth to it but it does not convey the deeper reality of real Christian community: “Truth be told, that is only half the story. The most incredible, loving, supportive friendships I have ever had (or could hope to have) have been found among the body of Christ.”

Thanks Matt, you are absolutely right! In spite of all its challenges, the grace we can find in community with the people of God is like nothing else on earth. I recently had an experience which vividly illustrated this.

In late May I had the privilege of spending five days with a group of peers at St. Edmunds Retreat on Ender’s Island in Mystic, CT. The setting was idyllic and the training we received was awesome, but some of the greatest blessing was experienced in the hours of “unstructured” time. Throughout the week at all hours of the day people could be seen in pairs or in clusters of three or more sitting, walking, talking and praying. Our minds had been opened by instruction and our hearts warmed by contemplation, but there was something more we all needed and longed for. We found it in one another as we walked with Christ together. It was a powerful life lesson in the potential of formation in community.

In reflecting upon this experience, there were several key elements that made this time such a blessing. One important part of what made these interactions so grace filled and powerful was a spirit of openness and self disclosure to one another. When we are serious about seeking and experiencing God we become cognizant of a deep desire to be thoroughly open and honest. At times like this we long to express ourselves not only to God but also to another trusted person as well. This is a desire which is purely born of the Spirit, who has called us all to “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”(James 5:16, NLT).

The second grace which made this experience of community so blessed was compassion. In the passage just quoted, to “confess” (exomolegeo) literally means to come out with the same word. The underlying idea is unity and agreement. When we are open, honest, and vulnerable with a godly friend – and they with us – we find ourselves understanding and being understood. “You too? I thought I was the only one!” We discover that we are not alone in our struggles and we are relieved to discover that our experience is not as unusual as we may have thought. There is great grace in this!

As we opened ourselves in honesty, the prayers we offered for one another were compassionate and effective. Compassion is a crucial element of effective ministry:

 “Every high priest is a man chosen to represent other people in their dealings with God. He presents their gifts to God and offers sacrifices for their sins. And he is able to deal gently with ignorant and wayward people because he himself is subject to the same weaknesses.(Hebrews 5:1-2, NLT)

Intercession derives its life-power from compassion. The word “compassion” comes from Latin and literally means to suffer with. We are only able to offer effective ministry when we are keenly aware that we share, or could very easily share, the same weakness, the same struggle, and the same pain as those we serve. As author James C. Wilhoit says:

“The most fertile field for formation is in a community genuinely aware of the depth of their sin and the reality of their spiritual thirst.”*

To forget our own weakness is to fail as priests and intercessors before God. But when we acknowledge our condition and open ourselves in trust to one another we find a real source of help and relief. As we pray for one another we are healed because “The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.” (James 5:16, NLT).

You don’t need a week on an island to experience the grace of formation in community. It can and should be a part of the spiritual life we share in each of our local churches. In fact I would go so far as to say it must be. Our individualism only deprives us of the riches of grace which God has chosen to deposit in the larger community.

I realize that this is a big subject which raises a lot of questions, like “How can I find or form a formation community within my church?” As a starting point you might consider James Wilhoit’s book, “Spiritual Formation as if the Church Mattered - Growing in Christ through Community” (see below). This should get the juices flowing and give you some helpful insight into how the church as a formation community should feel and function. In the next few posts I will continue to address some of the challenges and rewards of pursuing formation in community.

Recommended Resource:

“Spiritual Formation as if the Church Mattered- Growing in Christ through Community”  (James C. Wilhoit, with foreword by Dallas Willard)

Paperback: 240 pages

Publisher: Baker Academic (2008)

ISBN-10: 9780801027765

(this was posted by Steve Poole, Vision New England's Director of Spiritual Formation and Mentoring)